John Gray, the bestselling author wrote, ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’. The insights he gave into the psychology of men and women did help a whole lot of us improve our relationships. Obviously the question then arose, if men are from Mars and women are from Venus then children are from? John himself gives the answer – Children are from Heaven!

A raging debate arose over this philosophical approach at one of my sessions. One teacher remarked, “This is a fine American paradigm”. Another teacher quipped, “It’s a wonderful philosophy for a counsellor but when one enters the classroom this philosophical approach is not practical”. A docile group of teachers suddenly seemed to have become aggressive!

I don’t claim to give easy answers to the myriad disciplinary difficulties we encounter daily in the classrooms. But it’s worth reading reflectively John Gray’s ‘Children are from Heaven’.

There are four thoughts that I would like to highlight:

• Children listen to their parents when parents learn how to listen to their children. (Do we give enough time?)
• When children are in control, they are out of their parent’s control. (Are mobiles and other gadgets we give lollipops?)
• Children cannot develop patience or learn to delay gratification if everything comes their way when they want it. (Be careful when you generously say ‘yes’ to ice creams and burgers!)
• Adjusting one’s will and wish is called cooperation, submitting one’s will and wish is obedience. (Are we seeking cooperative children or obedient children?)

For our children to grow strong and confident they need particular kinds of struggle and a particular kind of support. Our job as parents and educators is to support our children in special ways so that our children become stronger and healthier. If we interfere and make it too easy, we weaken children, but if we make it too tough then we deprive them of what they need to grow.

So this is my prayer: May our children grow up confident, cooperative and compassionate in this competitive and aggressive world.

Amen!

Fr. Anil Wilson Sequeira
( Principal)